Another ‘Time’ Post
I mentioned last week about how we are one minute playing in the street as kids and then life comes steam rolling along and before we know it we’re women and men.
The paintings shown are the first ever one done by my daughters on their first day at school. One from 1995 and the other from 1999.
This week I’ve had another landmark pass. The second daughter has left to go to university so that’s it, they’re both gone. Now as I go upstairs I walk into empty bedrooms (excepting the bits of junk still left behind) and it stirs the memory into all that’s happened during the process of ‘raising the kids’ !
It sort of brings a tear to my eye knowing that a MAJOR part of life has passed and that without doubt it’s been a real hell of a ride. Absolutely brilliant actually.
It’s like a hurricane has passed through and I’m stood looking at the aftermath and pondering over all that had happened while it blew. It’s almost 23 years since my first little sweetheart came along and I quite clearly remember my father-in-law say that my life would change big time because I now had a new boss. It just seems like minutes since I was leaning into the cot when she was asleep to see if she was still breathing (because that’s what us thick blokes do as we’re clueless about kids). Before you know it, out pops another! That’s it, you’re now on the rollercoaster of parenthood. During upbringing I always tried to make sure I was at the sports days, nativities, school shows etc etc. On some occasions it felt like a bit of a pain to go but God am I glad I did. As you raise them and they start going out on their own you worry about them. And now, as they are out in the big wide world on their own I still constantly think about them and how they’re doing. There are certain times or particular holidays we had and that I think about and I’d give a king’s ransom just to go back to that moment to relive it.
Then suddenly….BANG….they’re gone!
I suppose you just have to hope you’ve done a good job raising them and given them the right tools do get by.
It’s like parents are the bows and children are the arrows. Our job is to pull back the bow far enough so that the arrow reaches the target without dropping off or missing completely. I actually heard that somewhere and thought it quite poignant.
We’ve also decided it would be better to downsize the home and move now that the kiddies are gone and whilst thinking about that I decided to have a bit of a clear out today which, again, also almost turned me into a blubbering wreck because as I was rooting through the loft and other rooms I kept coming across old toys & pictures from their childhood which brought back some very happy memories of them playing, as little girls, with the toys and I could even remember where, when, why we bought them. It makes you sad because it’s a time that can never be got back or replaced.
If nothing else, going through this grief (that’s the only word I can put to it) makes me realise that I am one real, god damned, lucky bloke to have had the pleasure of raising two gorgeous, polite (well most of the time) and intelligent young women.
It’s very much a cliche to say this but….. Don’t cry because it’s gone, Smile because it happened.
Carpe Diem Folks